When Things Go Awry
Well, I'm a week late in getting this to you. This is because my finely tuned system of creation relies heavily on the fact that I am mostly in charge of my schedule. To steal from The Princess Bride and make it my own, MOSTLY in charge also means SLIGHTLY not in charge. (I do love that movie.)
Sometimes stuff happens. For me it all happened at once last week and that culmination of #&@* threw a giant wrench in the works. For a time I was feeling upset, exhausted, fearful, annoyed, exasperated, angry…you know all the stuff you hope you feel in a day. Then I remembered that I have a choice in how I respond. I can let all of this overwhelm me, I can bury myself in work or chores to ignore how I'm feeling, or I can work through how I'm feeling and learn from it.
Folks, I'm a life coach so of course, I chose that last one. It was a practice what I preach moment for me or as a friend of mine said recently, "Oh sure. Be wise. Have self-control. Where's the fun in that?"
He's right, in the midst of doing the work it doesn't feel fun. However, it is a relief. You can take a situation that feels overwhelming and make it work for you. It's not going to be fun but it will be informative. You can use your feelings, thoughts, and actions to learn more about your boundaries. You can learn more about the self-care you need. You can learn about how you do and don't want to respond when similar things happen in the future. You can write about it and maybe help someone else not feel so alone the next time they have all the things happen at once and don't know where to start.
This is what I did in the 48 hours that followed:
Gave myself 5 minutes to be really good and mad but refrained from spewing that anger out into the world (and held to my rule of never writing to someone in anger because I will regret it and can't take it back).
Took deep breaths, lots of them, to calm my nervous system.
Made some changes to my plans for the evening to allow less work and more space for self-care.
Fed myself and my family good nutritious food instead of exacerbating the problem by ordering junk which always triggers bigger moods due to sugar spikes or indigestion.
Held my people close both literally and figuratively so we all remembered that we were not alone.
Gave everyone else the space they needed to process their own emotions. They can learn from theirs too and that makes us a healthier group overall. We really do belong to each other.
Journaled a bit because for me writing is both how I process and how I get things out of my body.
Allowed my to-do list to remain unfinished. No guilt, just care for me and my people.
Did things just for fun because sometimes appreciating my own life is the best way to honor the lives of others.
Went to bed early because even though I was working through the emotions, all of it had taken a physical toll. It also allowed my brain to organize all the details while I slept and I woke up with a new perspective.
This is the process that began the work for me this last week, I'm still processing it. I offer it as an example of one way to approach rough news and hard times. What processes work for you? I'd love to hear from you. Click the contact button below to share with me.
Until then, do what works for you. It's the best way to care for yourself and others.
